Berikyuu! Episode 13: Risako’s Special Gift

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So now we’re on the second episode of the dance rehearsal for the epic battle. I’m actually glad they’re not extending this much, though it does strike me as if the Berikyuu! producers don’t know what they’re doing, simply throwing shit on the wall and seeing what sticks.

The only real stable element is Mano Erina, the soloist wonder Egg. And is it me, or does Manoeri look like she’s in a sanitarium in this opening shot? The shadows look imposing, mildly scary even.

Watch out, Manoeri! Michael Meyers is crawling up behind you with a knife! Oh wait, it’s just another wota. Those won’t come back from the dead once you shoot them two or three times. So blow them away if you like. Um… never mind.

Meanwhile, back in the dance rehearsal, the girls are going over the basics. “Wave to the fans but block out their faces! Smile brightly but make sure their stares of intense neediness do not make you cringe! And wave some more and wiggle your ass and continue to be in denial about what they do with pictures of you!”

“And step two three and step two three and… make sure the wota don’t grab your ankles… and step two three…”

Saki shares more secrets: “Just because we’re a team doesn’t mean there isn’t some disagreements. For example, I want to strangle Risako, while Momoko wants to poison her and Miyabi wants to pound her to a pulp with a large sledgehammer. None of us can agree what will be most satisfying, so for the moment we wait. And she continues to hog all the lines. And get too many photobooks.”

Risako looking quite perky and… um… really, I have no feelings for her. I can’t believe she used to be my favorite and Momoko my least favorite, early on. What the hell was I thinking?

Actually, I do understand why she has dedicated fans – she’s beautiful, she’s dynamic, she’s precocious and pedolicious at the same time. But either your trigger is tripped over an idol or it isn’t – and because it hinges so much on that X factor, there are times when not getting an idol’s appeal at the core of your wota self makes the rational reasons for an idol’s appeal seem less comprehensible. It’s like an instinct that isn’t being set off when it should be, so to speak, a wota cognitive dissonance.

“Saki once tried to offer a switch, Risako in exchange for Erika and Kanna. We almost went with it, but Airi and I realized we’d lose all our solo lines to that bitch. Really, it helps to keep some bottom-feeders in the line-up to help prop the stars. Like me. You can tell I’m hot, right? I’m really hot.”

Mmm… Loving that shot of NakkySaki, blurry though she is. Meanwhile, MaiMai is arguing over some mushrooms Chisa sold her: “I’m telling you, it’s good shit! Just put on Dark Side of the Moon and relax as you chew on it.”

Meanwhile, some random motherfucker with a cheesy smile has a surprise for birthday girl Risako!

I love the look on Chisato’s face – she always seems mildly pissed when she doesn’t know what’s going on. Which seems to be much of the time.

“Don’t worry, there’s enough roofies in this cake for everyone! You’ll all wake up in several hours with a stack of compromising polaroids next to your naked, filthy bodies!”

Risako has a little trouble blowing out the candles.

“I can’t wait till you get a slice of the cake, then I’m gonna ream you like you won’t believe!” cheesy smile guy says, demonstrating his moves.

The girls all laugh at how badly this guy does a crotch thrust.

“Why don’t you show me that fine ass while you’re still lucid and clothed?” the man asks. Risako obliges, as somebody told her he’s scouting her out for her fifth and sixth photobooks.

The girls watch on, trying not to burst out in laughter too loudly.

“Sir, on behalf of us all, I must say that if we’re ever going to be seduced by a man with a cake and a cheesy smile, he’d have to have considerably better moves – and most likely, a considerably larger unit – than what you possess.”

“That said, you can do what you like with Risako. None of us really like her anyway.”

The girls all pose with the cake and the guy, and Risako is feeling quite special. For some reason, most of them avoid eating the cake. That said, someone passed a slice along to Mika Mutou and next thing you know, she’s resigning from H!P. Coincidence? I think not.


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2 Responses to “Berikyuu! Episode 13: Risako’s Special Gift”
  1. jim says:

    1st paragraph describes all of H!P pretty much. Chisato rules.

  2. Julia says:

    Good point, Jim. On both counts, actually. =)