Berikyuu! Episode 12: Dance Like You Want To Win!

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Having broken away from the studio hell of those stupid challenges, maybe Berikyuu! will improve? Maybe there’ll be something substantial or at least fun involved? Ahh… who cares? Give me my jailbait eyecandy and I’ll be happy.

“How much is that Manoeri in the window? The one with the hot underage tail? How much is that Manoeri in the window? I do hope that Manoeri’s for sale!”

Manoeri doesn’t have to worry about team spirit or unity or anything. She’s a soloist! She can let everyone else support their unit and speak up for people they don’t like, she just has to shine on her own! And speaking of team spirit…

Ahh, Berryz and C-ute are practicing together for their big face-off! There must be great tension in the air! There must be a foreboding as they consider how the wota will take this battle of epic, monumental, um… waitaminnit…

Wow! Look at the rack on NakkySaki! All that and a jawline that would make any wota drool!

However, I must confess: the idol who most captures my attention this episode is none other than little Maimai. There’s something about her which seems so grounded and comfortable but also has that spunkiness that makes MaiMai distinct… I dunno, I’m babbling now. But she’s the one to watch in the coming weeks and months, there’s no doubt about that.

The leaders of the two units circle each other warily, like Montagues and Capulets, or Sharks and Jets, or Klingons and Wookies, or…

“Yeah, that’s right, bitch, step away. Don’t ask no trouble, don’t get no trouble.” Saki isn’t worried that Maimi has a good six to eight inches reach over her, mostly because Momoko’s around to tear out the jugular of anyone who threatens Captain.

Later, Saki shares her feelings about the Berryz – Cute rivalry: “They’re whores and cannibals and kleptomaniacs and vote Republican and – what? There’s no Republican party in Japan? And we’re all too young to vote anyway? Well, scratch that off the list and put in necorphiliacs instead!”

“The bitch said what about me?!?!?!” Maimi demands, her eyes ready to pop out. “You have sex with just one dead body and they’ll keep talking about it like it’s such hot shit!”

Back at the practice, the girls strike poses. Airi looks very retro Charlie’s Angels in that sweatsuit, doesn’t she?

Ah, there’s Maimai again, rocking to the beat and looking quite hot. Maimai, O Maimai!

Saki then adds: “You know, not to pass along unsubstantiated rumors, but I heard that Airi does this thing with a candle that she learned back in her days as a stripper in Thailand…”

I love Airi, but I dunno, I was getting just the teensiest diva vibe off her this episode. It may be that jumpsuit or the way she strutted or something, but it kind of turned me off her just a little. It’s one thing to be hot shit, it’s another thing to act like hot shit.

What’s up with Erika’s outfit? It’s like she’s preparing to do a motion capture movie…

Miya looks cute here, actually, but that star jacket is also not very pleasing to the eye for some reason. I like how her hair’s falling over her face, though, makes her look kind of tough and vulnerable and a little punk rawk.

Lower! Lower! Aim the fucking camera LOWER, goddamit! I wanna see me some Maimi cheeks, stat!

There’s Maimai again, right in the front. Good Lord, the onset of puberty can be a wondrous thing, can’t it? And hey, the girls are on a train instead of on the receiving end of one! How’s that for progress?

“Remember, vote for us! The winners of the battle get to beat up the losers with big, heavy aluminum bats!”

“And I fully intend to beat all of them to a bloody pulp like this and this and this!” she says, moving her hand rapidly to illustrate.

“I ask you to please vote for C-ute in the upcoming battle. I’m not sure if there’s an actual voting mechanism involved, but if you write down our name on bunches of paper and throw it at random strangers, I’m sure that will help!”

“If you vote for us, I’ll send Airi to your home with a nice, long wax candle. I can’t say anything more, but you’re never gonna blow out a candle without thinking of her again!”


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