Dear Santa Claus…

Filed in Cult Of Pop 2.0

I haven’t been a good boy this year, but you know I can be a vengeful little bastard if I don’t get what I want. So I’m not asking much for Christmas this year, just a minor bit of kidnapping. You creep in and out of houses so much, Santa, just bring along some chloroform, silk ropes, and a blindfold at one particular stop.

You see, I think it’d be wonderful and absolutely keeping in the spirit of the holidays if I was to find an idol bound and gagged under a Christmas tree as my gift this year, especially if it was… oh, I don’t know…

Yajima Maimi of C-Ute, maybe?

I know, I know. Why not Momoko or Chinami? It’s been Momoko this, Chinami that, for months now. Well, Berryz have been busy this year and I don’t want them to slow down their production schedule any. C-Ute don’t have any singles lined up yet, and the pictures of Maimi I’d been seeing are damned adorable. I’ve been noticing her in the H!P All-Stars PV more, and the recent pictures of C-Ute have her stand out… after Suzuki Airi, of course, who’s the brightest light in the H!P U15 firmament. Talent-wise, that is.

I was doing some window shopping before this letter, and I almost found myself asking for Murakami Megumi, since she was so cool in Aa! v. 2 and looked real hot in both that silly shuffle unit and Gocchin’s pinball video. But a little voice in my head – the same little voice that tells me to dress up as a woman and walk down Nuuana late at night – told me Maimi’d be a better choice. If I can’t trust that little voice in my head, then who can I trust?

However, if for some reason you find it morally offensive to deliver wrapped-up underage girls to my home, then just bring me Hirai Ken in a box this holiday. But don’t poke any holes in the box, and tape it up real good, as in airtight.

If you bring me that, I promise not to open it until July Fourth.

Thanks, Merry Christmas, et cetera, et cetera,

Ray Mescallado

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3 Responses to “Dear Santa Claus…”
  1. niji says:

    However, if for some reason you find it morally offensive to deliver wrapped-up underage girls to my home, then just bring me Hirai Ken in a box this holiday. But don’t poke any holes in the box, and tape it up real good, as in airtight.

    If you bring me that, I promise not to open it until July Fourth.

    Heheh… silly goose.

  2. Santa says:

    Let’s see…what’s this….I wish for a Yajima Maimi…asking for…megumi…wha..MEGUMI!

    Megumi is mine and will always and forever forever be mine, definitely mine! But I guess I could let you have Maimi and perhaps even Momoko! πŸ˜€

    Hmm, on the other hand Maimi is bloodtype O and I’m weak for those girls…but then again you’re a nice guy, this is so hard…I…I guess I’ll have to let you have Maimi anyway… :O

    Well then, enjoy your C-ute girl and have a Merry-old-Xmas! πŸ™‚

    P.S after many hours, I eventually also convinced Maimi to sit under your x-mas tree, so be nice to her when you find her πŸ˜‰ D.S

  3. CJ Marsicano says:

    I was so tempted to print up a picture of Aibon, go see a mall Santa, sit on his lap, and when he asked “What do you want for Christmas?”, I would have pulled out the picture and said, “Her.” >:)