With Presents Like These…

Filed in Cult Of Pop 2.0

So it’s – what? – quarter to three in the AM, Hawaii Time. About fifteen minutes ago, the cat’s yowling at our back door. My wife wakes, lets her in…

Except the cat has one of her "toys". Or maybe a "little friend". Anyway, whichever cutesie euphemism you like, it’s a grievously injured bird. She tends to bag a bird once a week or so – at least, that we know about – and play with it until it dies. When that happens, we try to stop it and put the bird out of its misery.

This time she decided to share the joy with us – not in the backyard, but in our friggin’ kitchen. 

Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but there’s no way we’re going to let that bird flutter around until it dies its agonizing death – best to put it outs of its misery.

First thing I do is snap a couple pics with my phonecam – because no way am I doing this at 3 in the AM without sharing the love with everyone else. Then my wife takes the cat in the other room while I sweep up the very injured bird – and the rags it was lying in – with plastic shopping bags and banged it a few times until I was sure it was dead. Reasonably sure, at least. I wasn’t going to peek in or check for a pulse.

The cat comes back into the kitchen and is wondering what the heck happened to her toy / little friend. She’s pissed but some tuna and a lot of attention and petting make her feel better.

The funny part is, it could’ve been worse. We had a cat in Florida that used to bring in tiny lizards and once brought a friggin’ snake into the house. Yeah, you heard me – a snake. Black, full-grown, about a foot and a half long. (Sounds like Lexington Steele, described that way.)  I thought it was a strap from my wife’s purse until it began to move on its own. Everybody but our cat screamed as I swept it out the front door with a broom.

So really, I guess I should be thankful this late night present wasn’t so bad.

And especially thankful that there are just about no snakes in Hawaii. 


Comments (Comments are closed)

7 Responses to “With Presents Like These…”
  1. CHris~ says:

    nice story!
    ‘No snakes in Hawaii’ makes that island sound even sweeter.
    What about spiders and bugs and such?

  2. Suika says:

    As a long-time cat owner I share your pain. I used to run a little Anime Rescue 911 operation when I was younger, I had a pair of thick rubber gloves on a hook in the garage that I used to run and grab when I heard a little critter in distress at the claws of one of our cats. When I couldn’t save them, which was…well, most of the time, I’d bury them. I think we had the largest animal cemetary on the east coast at one point!

    Lexington Steele! XD

  3. niji says:

    You should’ve left out the part about putting the bird out of its misery, or at least your method of doing it. If some anti-animal-abuse type person reads that, I’m sure you’ll be getting a lot of calls from various people in the next few days. XD

  4. Hooray for kitties says:

    My mom’s cat used to proudly offer us bird corpses every day. I guess it’s a sort of generosity.

  5. CHris~ says:

    I think you may be right on that generousity-thing, HFKS.

    Also, Suika- was it really an “Anime Rescue 911 operation”?
    Or is that just a typo signifying that you are perhaps a bit too occupied with japanese pop culture at the moment? 😉

  6. Suika says:


    HAHA! What a HORRIBLE mistake! Thanks for pointing it out, yes it was supposed to be *animal*. Oh the shame!

  7. Chris:

    Spiders and bugs, yes. And ferrets. But only one kind of snake in Hawaii (I think it’s a harmless tree snake and there’s not very many of them) and no squirrels.


    Actually, Anime 911 is a great idea. “Hello? What? You blew up Tokyo again? Is this New Tokyo or Tokyo III or Tokyo Bigger and Better we’re talking about?”


    Worst part: after going back to sleep, heard a weird noise. Fluttering in my garbage bin. The bird wasn’t dead yet. So in true Wu-Tang style, I had to kill it twice.