Continuing with my yearly ranking extravaganza we’ll find out the same thing we find out most years, Aim doesn’t like slow songs. But on a more serious note, this was literally the hardest year to pick a top ten worst single list. Most years I have a somewhat clear idea of what singles I didn’t enjoy that much and I only have to scramble to pick the last song or two. But this year it was completely different. I only had about 3 songs this year that I knew for a fact I just didn’t care for that much. And this year I was frantically trying to think of about 7 songs to pick.
I know I say this every year that I don’t really hate any idol song, and the worst of the year list aren’t songs I hate just my least favorite songs. Well, that sentence has never been more true. This year I had to pick songs that were in the middle for me because barely any songs this year dipped lower than a 5/10 for me this year. In my opinion, this was a really spectacular year for idol music. Or maybe I was incredibly lucky and it was just a great year for the type of idol music I like. Either way, this year in music was just great, which made things a hundred times more difficult for me. If you ever get personally offended with my lists for worst songs because your favorite song is on the list, well this year you’re in luck because I don’t consider most of these songs to be deserving of the worst label. So you don’t have to say I have horrible taste in music. Well, you don’t have to think that anyway. I say think because no one has ever literally commented on my year ranking posts and said that. But I’m sure at least some of you may have been thinking it.
10. Momoiro Clover Z – Saraba, Itoshiki Kanashimi-tachi yo
This song is number 10 because I’m walking a thin line between liking this song and not liking it at all. The song itself isn’t completely awful. In fact if it was done by any other group I probably would have liked it more. But when it comes to MomoClo I expect over the top energetic and cutesy music from them. This song just feels too mature for them. Or rather it’s just not the music I personally prefer to hear from them. It’s the same reason why I never really liked Roudou Sanka. The chorus is still a little catchy and there are some cool effects done tot heir voices, but the song just isn’t for me.
9. Berryz Koubou – Be Genki Naseba Naru!
This is one of those songs I just did not like at all when I first heard it. I just thought all the nai nais were pretty annoying. And I think the bridge sounds completely awkward. The way that it slows down and turns into this weird fanciful music just sounds really out of place. The one thing I always did like about the song was the chorus.I think the chorus is fun and catchy. It’s really about the only redeeming quality of this song. Because honestly this song sounds more like 3 different songs pieced together than one complete song. And I think the lyrics are quite stupid. The entire song just lists things that you shouldn’t do or shouldn’t let happen. Like sleeping during examsor leaving your wallet in the taxi. I think those are all pretty obvious things and don’t really need a song written about them.
8. Mano Erina – Tasogare Kousaten
I’ve said it once I’ll say it again, I am not a fan of slow paced songs or ballads. I don’t know, I just need a fast paced song to hold my interest. And that’s of course what I don’t really like about this song. I’m sure it’s pretty in its own way, but I just find it boring. Which is a problem I’ve had with ManoEri since the beginning. How ironic that her music finally starts to get good an she’s graduating. For me to like a slower song the lyrics have to be really beautiful and meaningful, and I feel like this song also misses the mark. While this song does have some meaning, something about painting their future in the blue sky and always shining by the same light. But I’ve heard tons of songs like that before. It’s just not enough for me.
7. Kis-My-Ft2 – She! Her! Her!
I was never this song’s biggest fan when it first came out, and that has changed much over this past year. Especially since the other songs they released this year were a lot better than this one. There are a few reasons why I don’t like this song, the first being how annoying the random she her her chants are. First of all, they don’t match the flow of the rest of the song. And second of all, she her her doesn’t have an actual meaning. I also think that the amount of English in this song makes it sound pretty awkward. The song itself is mediocore at best and barely good enough to be an A-side.
6. AKB48 – Give Me Five
When this song first came out there was a bit of commotion about it because they were playing instruments. At least I think they were actually playing them during the lives. Whatever the case may be, I just do not like this song. I think it’s boring and it didn’t take any risks at all. It feels like one of those songs that AKB48 makes that they don’t even try with because they know whatever they produce will sell well just because of who they are. Also, it is yet another graduation song. I get that there have been a lot of Japanese graduation songs out there, (personally I think ZONE’s Sotsugyou and Buono’s Last Forever are some of my favorites.) and idols in general make a lot of gradution songs, but this is literally like the 6th graduation themed single AKB48 has released in their career. It’s boring, it’s just absolutely boring. I really don’t need to hear yet another graduation single from them. Please stick with the cheesy idol songs I love.
5. Arashi – Your Eyes
Slow idol songs bore me to no end, but no slow idol songs bore me quite like Arashi’s slow songs do. And the reason for that is anymore all of their slow songs from 2010-present day sound exactly the same and have nearly the same lyrical content. Where are Arashi’s slow songs that lyrically made up for it being so slow paced?Your Eyes is definitely no Beautiful Days were the lyrics are so heartfelt and beautiful that you could tear up listening to it. The absolute only thing this song has going for it is how the chorus sounds. The chorus is actually really great. It has like this rock sound to it and it’s completely catchy. However, once the song switches over from the chorus to the verse it loses all its appeal. The verse is sung so monotonically and the music is so simple and soft, that it literally sounds like they are speaking over light music rather than singing a song.
4. Passpo – Kimi wa Boku wo Suki ni Naru
I was completely underwhelmed by this song the very moment it came out. And unlike most of the other songs on this list, I haven’t really grown to like it. I think this is not only Passpo’s weakest singles to date, but one of their weakest songs overall. I mean, their entire indie album is better than this song. The entire song just sounds so stale. It’s way too toned down for Passpo. I expect either happy upbeat pop-rock or intense serious rock from them. Either way I expect a song that leaves a deep impression. And this song, sadly, just isn’t it. It’s not a terrible song, I feel like there could be occasions where you’re in the mood to hear this song. But for me those time are few and far. To me the song is boring and doesn’t push things far enough. They played it way too safe with this single.
3. Watanabe Mayu – Otona Jelly Beans
This song had all the elements for a great song going for it. Mayu’s adorable voice and very cutesy and fanciful music. However, there’s just something about the song that I just don’t like. To me the song is just boring and doesn’t leave a deep impression at all. I also find the lyrics to be mediocore at best. It’s about wanting a kiss on the first date and for some reason eating jelly beans. It’s also supposed to be about having an adult birthday. So, I guess the jelly beans are supposed to represent that she’s still innocent even though she wants to be an adult. That’s what I got from it at least. Regardless, there’s just something about this song I don’t really care for.
2. NMB48 – Junjou U-19
When this song came out I was so impressed with it. I thought the song had a great instrumental and it was extremely catchy. I even loved how elaborate, interesting, and fun the PV was. So, naturally once I saw someone had subbed the PV I was really excited to find out what the song was about. And once I finally understood the lyrics of the song I was completely turned off. The entire theme of the song is a girl wanting to wait until she’s 19 to lose her virginity. And that she doesn’t want to become an adult too quickly so let her stay pure a little longer. The entire song is catering to the fanbase that gets off on their idols being virginal and untouched. While that itself doesn’t really bother me because every idol group has this type of fanbase. Even male idol fans have something vaguely similar to this. Male idol fans seem to be delusional and convince themselves that idols in their mid-20’s, or ones pushing 30, are still virgins despite being photographed with girlfriends. Another slice of male idol fans have even been brazen enough to start petitions for their idols to break up with their girlfriends. (I’ve actually only seen this happen once, but once was enough to be honest.) I accept that both of these fanbases exist and are a huge chunk of who buys their music and merch, and therefore keep my favorite idols going. But I’m also not here for either of those fanbases, so this particular song is lost on me. I still do listen to this song occasionally because it is still a catchy song. It’s just not, and never will be, one of my favorites.
1. NYC – Wonderful Cupid
This song, this song! Listen to this song once and you’ll clearly see why it’s the perfect choice for number one. I have a real indifference to NYC, so it’s natural for me to have bad things to say about their songs initially. With most of NYC’s singles I usually hate them at first, but slowly realize that they’re actually great songs. Especially with Haina. When Haina came out I literally though, “This is terrible. What garbage are they trying to push on me now?” But after hearing it about 15-20 times I actually really love the song. Funny how that happens, right? But with Wonderful Cupid there is absolutely nothing to love. The song is so slow and boring that it sounds like a lullaby. No wonder it put me to sleep. It seems like the whole reason that NYC continued in the first place was to release singles so Hey! Say! JUMP could mature as a group. Since Hey! Say! JUMP used to be both the newest group and the group with the youngest members some of their songs for a while seemed to cater to not only Johnny’s usual niche market of teenage girls but the children market as well. Which is why to this day you see children at their concerts. I mean, at the end of Hey! Say! JUMP’s JUMP World concert DVD they thanked all the parents in the child-parent seats.
It’s obvious that Wonderful Cupid is marketed for children, which is a main factor of why I dislike the song so much. It’s too immature for me. I frequently listen to idol songs from girls who are or were 15 years old or younger in the song. But the difference there is even though they were children at the time the songs aren’t children’s songs. C-ute’s Massara Blue Jeans is more mature than this song!